Building Bridges

Only 2 out of 10 people answer this question correctly so let’s see if you’re in the genius category. Ready? What connects, takes a long time to build but can collapses in seconds? Before you answer here’s a hint: It’s built to withstand heavy loads. Okay, what’s your answer? If you guessed “a bridge,” you’re not a genius but that’s good news because now you won’t have to be right all the time. If you answered “relationships,” you’re hence forth and forever burdened with being brilliant. Yep, relationships take a long time to build, can carry the weight of helping someone but are so fragile they can be destroyed in the blink of an eye. 

We all know the importance of our relationship with God as He’s the foundation from which all good things are built. Our relationship with God is so vital to our identity that our closeness to Him is shown in our relationships with everyone else. When your union with God is strong you’re a more compassionate, loving and forgiving person. Which makes a lot of sense given that God is love and you can’t help but love others when the Holy Spirit dwells in you. You know that feeling you get when the preacher is at the crescendo of his sermon and you’re on fire for the Lord. You feel like a super Christian ready to let your light shine. That’s until you’re hit with all the shade the world casts your way. 

It’s easy to show love when a person is showing you love but the test comes when people mistreat you. Can you be the same Christian you were on Sunday? “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them,” (‭‭Luke‬ ‭6‬:‭32‬). God is clearly telling us that loving someone you have a good relationship with is so easy anyone can do it. But do you have the spiritual maturity to take insults without insulting back? Can you pick up the phone and call someone you fell out with to see how they’re doing? If the answer is no, then your relationship with God isn’t quite where it needs to be. It’s a harsh statement but God sees things in black and white… either you love Him or the world.

Loving God means you have to love people despite how they treat you so holding grudges isn’t an option. I hate it (pun intended) when people say “I forgive but___.” If you have stipulations or aren’t putting forth effort to restore the relationship, then you haven’t truly forgiven. One of the main causes of quasi-forgiveness is self righteousness. It’s hard to build back relationships when you think you’ve done nothing wrong. Look, I get it and I too see myself as a good person who wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone but it doesn’t mean I haven’t. Have you ever misjudged a person’s intentions, comments or actions? Someone said something that was meant as a joke– things can sound funnier in your head than after you say it- but you took offense. 

Perhaps they’re dealing with a stressful situation and took out their frustration on you. You’ll have more sympathy and less anger when you realize actions may be directed towards you but they aren’t always about you. Let’s say a friend intentionally mistreated you because hurt people do hurt people. Now what? You turn to the example Jesus gave when he forgave evil, callous murders even as they were crucifying Him. We’re not Jesus but we do have the Holy Spirit and the closer we draw to Jesus the more like him we become. I urge you to reach out and start building back bridges regardless who’s at fault. “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends,” (Prov 17:9). 

Think about it.